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THE GREAT TRUTHS
GREAT TRUTHS THAT
CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED;
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize a cat.
2) When your Mom is mad at your dad,
don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit back.
They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) Never let a dog guard your lunch.
6) Don,t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
9) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED;
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's
nut that held it's ground.
5) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for fiber, not joy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD;
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food...You need all the
preservatives that you can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) A rocking chair gives you the same sensation
....that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know the answers,
but nobody will ask the questions.
6) Time may be the great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE;
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
ENCHANTED MOUNTAIN CARDS
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